Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Bates Family Motto - Inspired by Tom Cruise

Last night Chris and I got a babysitter (shocking) and went to the $5 Tuesday movie – Mission Impossible 3.  His choice, not mine because about a month ago he made me watch the first one on Netflix and I fell asleep, unimpressed.  So I guess I was surprised on how much I liked the movie last night. 

My favorite part of the movie was at the end when Rebecca Ferguson (I had to google her name, I don’t remember her name in the movie) gave Tom three options as they sat in a train terminal.  The first two options involved schemes to fight the bad guy that would most likely end up bad for Tom or the girl; however, the third option was to run away with her.  She had a valid argument, “we can be whoever we want to be, we can do whatever we want to do!”  That line hit me and I sat in my movie chair thinking, I haven’t felt that way in a really long time.  Then I began rooting for Tom, “choose that option Tom!  You can do anything Tom, take option three!” The words were literally screaming in my head and I was seriously pissed when he chose to continue to fight the bad guys and eventually win for the greater good.  This isn’t a spoiler; we all knew Tom would live in the end before we even went to the movie.  

I’ve thought about this feeling all night and on my drive to work this morning.  Growing up my parents did a really good job making us believe we could do or be anything we wanted?  Now that I have Caldwell I’m sort of in awe at how well they accomplished this.  They’ve created independence in each of us, an independence that I think I forgot about a little bit until last night.  I always tell Chris that I want to have a motto for our family.  I used to tell Chris our motto was, “Bates get up early and get shit done!”  Mostly because Chris hates getting up early and I thought my motto might urge him out of his Saturday morning comma.  I’ve lost that battle, and today I think I’m done fighting it.  The new family motto is, “The Bates Family can be whoever they want to be, and do whatever they want to do!”

P.S. It’s funny that I’ve this huge revelation during a Tom Cruise movie because in real life isn’t his brain basically being controlled by scientology.  Strange parallel don’t you think.
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Friday, August 14, 2015

Ignorance Isn't Bliss....

Today I went to a lunch meeting, the meeting was for a professional women's group.  An organization I sit on the board of, and an association I really enjoy.  The meeting today was on story telling and the ability to tell your story effectively in business.  At the end the speaker allowed for question and answer.  A middle aged women sitting across from me said, "what happens when your telling someone your story and their eyes glaze over, and it's obvious that person doesn't care about you or your story?"  I loved this question so much, and I expressed that from across the table.  The speakers answer was, "the person who is ignoring your story, has probably been ignored so much they reverberate those feelings back onto you ."  That struck me so hard.  I recalled speaking to the same women who asked the question when she came in, she had been telling me something about antiques but now as I recall back on her story, I can't remember it.  I wasn't focused and I'm sitting here with a sinking feeling that perhaps my eyes were the one's that glazed over.

Each day with my work I'm constantly ignored.  Don't feel bad, it's part of the industry and I'm well aware of what I do and it's effects on who I am, but today it stuck.  Maybe I'm getting ignored so much that I'm starting to ignore others.  A thought that made me re-evaluate who I am, what I'm doing, and the person I truly want to become.

Thursday, August 13, 2015

7 ways to cope with being a working mom...

This post has sat uncompleted for awhile now.  I think because I don't really cope with being a working mom very well, but here is 7 things that do help me out on occasion.

1.  Buy frozen/canned vegetables - These take nearly half the time to cook than fresh. My kid loves fruit, and I regularly have fresh fruit in the fridge but you can't give a kid with four teeth a raw carrot, so get yourself some frozen crap for the freezer to make you feel less guilty about re-heating the Kraft Mac & Cheese from the night before.

2.  Stop doing things you hate - I hate putting zip up pajamas on a toddler you just greased down with lotion.  I thought babies had to be lotion-ed after the bath, they don't, C's skin has managed just fine and I enjoy the 10 extra minutes I'm not fighting with my toddler before bed.  Don't do something just because you think you're supposed to.

3.  Allow screen time  - Everything in moderation, I know.  But the minute C would sit and watch Thomas the Train while I showered was the minute I figured I could do this whole mommy gig.

4.  Get outside after work  - I used to give myself a half hour to lay on the couch after work every day, soak up a little Ellen.  I stopped, one because I found it annoying when my own mom used to do that. (I'm not judging you mom, I totally get it.) But I realized if I don't just change my clothes and go straight outside my half hour might turn into an hour and I just don't have that time to waste.

5.  Don't put your baby in bed with you for any reason what so ever  - Treat this like bible my friends because trying to break your toddlers habit of rubbing his tiny little rump up next to your head night after night is about the hardest thing I've ever done.

6.  Stop drinking caffeine - I just killed about 15 little mom hearts and I'm sorry but it's true.  I don't stand to be the opitemy of good heath.  I eat truck loads of sugar and I'm over weight, but caffeine messes with your sleeping and when you have a baby you don't need to add any other sleep element to the mix.  Once I stopped caffeine my world changed.

7. Say family prayer - it makes you feel like your doing something right when your kid screams out "Amen" in sacrament, especially when you feel like your missing so much being at work all day.

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

36 Years...

This morning as I drove to work I thought about Chris.  His birthday was on Sunday and I had literally the craziest week of my life last week.  By Sunday I was so exhausted I felt like I couldn’t get out of bed, a combination between working more than 60+ hours last week and being sick, it was difficult to celebrate Chris.  In honor of his birthday I thought I’d share some of my thoughts from this morning here.

-          Chris laughs constantly, it’s infectious.  He saves clips he sees on TV, sends me links to Youtube of complete and utter nonsense that sometimes isn’t even funny.  But when I watch them with him he laughs so hard he can’t breathe.

-          Chris NEVER complains.  It’s almost obnoxious how pleasant he is about his work, and interactions with others.

-          Every move Caldwell makes Chris stands in awe of.  Chris is a very hands on dad, who spends countless hours in thrilling wrestling matches with C on our bed.  They are both sweaty and filled with laughter at the end.

-          Chris see’s the good in me that sometimes I can’t.  Last night I broke a light bulb in our room with a blanket I was using to make our bed.  Chris vacuumed it up in frustration saying, “you are either extremely brilliant or extremely stupid and there is no in between.”  He might speak truth, but regardless; he helps clean up my messes and encourages my brilliance.

-          Chris’s mind is extremely hard to conceptualize – it’s something I try to do often.   The majority of our conversations are me talking, but every once in a while he will talk and talk.  He’s interested in space, architecture, gospel doctrine, technology, music, etc.  It’s hard to keep up with the way his mind works.

-          There’s no one tighter than Chris – he holds on to cash like it’s the great depression.  At our annual budget meeting each year his focus is only if we paid our tithing in full, and more accountability when it comes to getting to the temple once a month.  This can sometimes be annoying, but the right kind of annoying.

-          Chris has a stubbornness that pronounces itself often and has aided in his success.  He sticks to his guns and doesn’t falter when it comes to things that are important.  He is strong willed in everything he does, which is counterbalanced by indecisiveness.  The guy can’t choose where to eat or what to get on the menu to save his life.

Life with Chris is such a whirlwind of laughter.  Even when we’re having our moments or when we’ve faced our biggest struggles there’s just something that’s been right about “us” from the beginning.  I feel so strongly he is the best person for me that sometimes that gratitude turns into guilt.  I’m reminded each day how grateful I am that a troubling marriage isn’t my trial.       

Chris got an edible arrangement from his sister Julie for his birthday, which I was pretty jealous of, since I've wanted one forever!!!

More birthday posts about Chris HERE, HERE, HERE & HERE

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

10 things to do if you hate your job and can't quit....

Anyone who knows me, knows that I have a love/hate relationship with my job.  Working full-time with a baby has been almost excruciatingly painful on so many levels.  Luckily, I have an amazing business partner who has lessened some of my burdens and my new role at the same place can be quite blissful at times.  However, before that was the case I used to make a list in my notebook.  I will share this list with you now........

What to do if you hate your job and can't quit......

1.  Shower everyday before work and never the night before -  This might be obvious to anyone over the age of 12, but I used to think showering at night left more time for sleep in the morning. This is never a good tactic.  A good shower lightens your mood as you walk out the door, and in my case, helps me stay awake for the 40 minute commute.

2.  Buy a new outfit - When you wake up, take a hot shower and then put on new clothes you automatically feel better.  You will absolutely like life more, which in turn helps you have a better attitude about your dreadful job.

3.  Create a friendship - When I used to work in craft sales I didn't enjoy my job but I created a strong friendship with a co-worker at the time.  She was such an inspiration at that point in my life and even though we don't talk often, I still enjoy her association. At my current job my co-workers are less social but I love interacting with my clients regularly. Find that person inside your work place who you can share life's accomplishments with.

4.  Don't complain or entrench yourself with the complainers on the job - I made this mistake at one point.  Then whenever something ridiculous would happen in the office I'd be swarmed with complainers about whatever drama was taking place.  I couldn't control the outcomes and neither could my counter parts.  No one likes a Gladys Kravitz - get out of the trench and stay out.

5.  Don't complain to your spouse about your job - clearly you see my re-occurring problem. Let me repeat, nobody likes a complainer!! Even if they love you and married you and think you're a hottie in the bedroom they don't want to hear it night after night.  I slip up on this occasionally, but its one of the best things I've ever done for our marriage.  Chris has never complained about anything in his life so I've never been on the receiving end of this.

6.  Keep a notebook - I've mentioned before but recording my feelings has always been very therapeutic.  It's also something to look forward too when things get quiet.  In my old position I was hourly, which required me to be a clock watcher. I personally consider clock watching to be one of the worst forms of torture.  Don't watch the clock, write!

7.  Do something at lunch - for years I worked through lunch because it meant I got to go home earlier.  I'm still working on this, but for other reasons now.  There's always so much to do.  Go for a walk, read your scriptures, lay on the grass, just give yourself that break. Now I leave the office for lunch no matter what.

8.  Pray for help - I had a pretty intense conflict with a co-worker at one point.  I've never been so prayerful in my life.  No one truly understands what your going through, other than your Savior Jesus Christ.

9.  Figure out Podcasts - This one has really helped me enjoy my commute.  There's so much good knowledge out there that can be soaked up.  Taking the time to find some good podcasts that make you want to be better before heading into some place you hate is very helpful.

10.  Realize that doing something you hate, helps you find out what you love - I don't think there's a better way for you to find out what your passions are, unless you do something you hate.  When you spend 8 hour shift, after 8 hour shift thinking of things you'd rather be doing than what you are currently doing, leads to some pretty great insight. You become fixated on the person who you want to become and that my friends is a very powerful tool.

Saturday, July 11, 2015

A Bunch of Pictures...

 Christmas Day 2014 - this shirt is now too small. 
 Caldwell just saw this picture and said, "Papa!"  Whenever we go to Salem Caldwell just follows my dad around the entire time and then we come home and for three days Caldwell walks around saying "Papa!"
 Valentines 2015 - we got takeout from Texas Roadhouse.  Chris got a Diet Coke from McDonalds, no presents just cards and paint by number.  We had a list full of questions.  Made for one of our best dates.
 Caldwell used to HATE his car seat.  This face is classic ticked off car seat face.

 The stairs outside our apartment used to give me 700 heart attacks every day.
 This morning I laid in bed planning on finally taking away Caldwell's bottle. I walked into his room and saw this. He had a bottle for 4 more months.
 The night after Chris and I signed the contract to live in this apartment we were laying in bed and I rolled over and said, "Did it have a dishwasher?"  Chris paused and said, "I don't think so."  We had forgotten to look.  I cried. 
 1 Year Checkup

 Chris sometimes has to go on business trips to Arizona.  He gets a good temple trip in when he goes. 

 Grandma takes C to the library every Thursday and then sends me pictures at work. 

 First time C had Cafe Rio dressing.  He's obsessed just like the rest of us. 
 Dang stairs!

 Green Smoothie - C hates to get dirty when he eats. 

 4th of July 2015 - we mostly just drink the sprinkler.

Caldwell and our neighbor played in the gutter like everyday this spring.  We ruined just about every article of clothing he owned at the time.  Which doesn't really matter since he's grown out of all of it now anyway. 
 Sealings at the Bountiful temple, just after I chopped my hair off.
 We spent a lot of time on these stairs!
 He pulls the chair over wants to turn it on and then gets mad when it's too loud. Go figure!
 Our visit at the first of July 2015 to Primary Children s Hospital.  C had a heart murmur we had to get checked out.  Turns out all is well.  Thank goodness, it totally freaked out my little mom heart.  

 Easter 2015
 We played in the gutter a lot! 

I framed this series of photo's for Chris on fathers day and had him hang them in his office.