Wednesday, November 28, 2018

Seth's Birth Story....

Seth was born on November 6, 2018 at Lakeview Hospital in Bountiful Utah.  I was a bit confused on my due date with Seth, because I had thought my due date was November 4th, but my doctor had switched it until the 8th at the start of my pregnancy.  I know that's only four days, but when you're at the end of pregnancy.  Those four days felt like an eternity.  To top it all off, my doctor was out of town until the 11th, so if I didn't go into labor naturally, than I had to wait clear until the 12th to get induced.  Which I really didn't want to happen.

Luckily about midnight on the 6th I started to have some contractions.  Painful enough that they would wake me up.  Then I'd quickly fall back to sleep.  It wasn't until about 4:30am that I finally started tracking them.  They were five minutes apart but not very painful.  I kept tracking them and finally woke Chris up about 7am.  We notified Grandma Jan that we would probably be having a baby today and to be on stand by.  I was afraid of going to the hospital and then having them send me home, so we held out.  The contractions started to get stronger, but nothing that bad.  However, a couple weeks prior I was diagnosed with Strep B, so I needed to have four hours of antibiotics before the baby came.  The doctor had told me to come to the hospital right when the contractions were five minutes a part so there was enough time to get the medication.  

Chris and I left the house about 9am and went to McDonald's for breakfast.  We ate in the car and then went in.  Once they got me all hooked up and I had been there about 35 minutes, I finally asked the doctor if she was going to send me home.  She just started laughing and checked me and I told me I was already at a FIVE!  That was so shocking to me because the contractions were totally bearable.  They started the antibiotics and I didn't get an epidural until about 11ish.

Now let's talk about this epidural.  First of all, this wasn't my first rodeo.  However, I had the worst epidural experience of my life.  The guy tried and tried to get this thing in me.  He tried up and down my back so many times, I am still suffering with a sore spine three weeks later.  Once he finally got it in, the contractions were bearable but I could still feel some pressure and I could freely move my legs wherever.  I was happy to feel that because I had wanted a little less numbness than my other deliveries.  Perhaps I got more than I bargained for.

Once the antibiotics were complete, the on call doctor was there and broke my water immediately.  At that point, they wanted me to start pushing and all the sudden I could feel EVERYTHING.  I asked to stop and see if I could push the epidural button by the side of my bed.  The doctor let me, but she told me this baby is coming and it probably won't work.  That was the point where I lost my mind, and yelled this is bull crap.  Only perhaps with some other words in there because I wasn't expecting to do this without an epidural. The epidural I just went through hell to get.  I cried, and yelled and told them to just pull it out.  The doctor calmly told me that I had to push it out.  In which I said something along the lines of, "All my babies have tons of hair, just pull his hair!"  I was a mess, and I'm so thankful it wasn't my real doctor because I hope I never have to see that lady again after the way I acted.

As soon as Seth was out of me, I was thrilled.  They laid him on my chest for a tiny second and he was bright purple......too purple.  I didn't even have time to have the instant love wash over me before they pulled him across the room and started hitting him in the back.  Everything was in slow motion as we waited and waited. I could tell Chris was nervous and I was freaking out. Then finally, he started to slightly cry.  It took another while before they handed him to me.  Meanwhile, the doctor was delivering the placenta which was just as awful as pushing a baby out.  Something in the past I'd never felt, still makes me grimace in pain.  I'm a wuss, it's fine.  Finally they laid him on my chest and all was well with the world.  That feeling, that love at first site was immediate, and I cried and cried.  I couldn't help but think about how much this baby boy is loved.  I kept running through all the people that would love him, including his two big brothers and it was literally one of the top THREE best moments of my life.

Seth James Bates was born at 3:01pm and we spent the rest of the evening in that delivery room.  We nursed and Mr. Seth is a nursing extraordinaire.  I spent hours upon hours leaning to nurse Mason and Caldwell.  Seth just got it, instantly.  He latches and eats without any problems.  Grandma Jan brought Caldwell and Mason to come visit their new brother and it was a night I never want to forget.

 Leaving the house to the hospital.

 I was 100 miles of bad road when that baby finally came out....
 8 pounds 3 ounces, out biggest boy yet! 
 Caldwell was so enamored.  He could have spent hours holding him and asking about every detail.  He is still so proud of Chris for cutting the cord and so mad we didn't let him watch.  Last week his teacher told me that Caldwell was explaining a little too much about babies to his classmates.  Ooops....
 Mason was so confused and not really into it.  Though he seems to be warming up to the idea.  The other morning he gave Seth a huge spoonful for peanut butter. At which point I almost died.  This is our only family picture in the hospital, which I'm a bit sad about.  However, ya'll I can't tell you how tired I felt after that half natural delivery that I didn't care at the time. 

Seth is the sweetest boy.  His name came only later that night, but it seems to fit him.  We now call him Sethy....which has turned into Seffy because of Mason.  

We love you "Seffy" so glad you're in our family! 
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Wednesday, October 31, 2018

A week away from a family of 5.....

You might be wondering why I am writing on this blog?  But with each of my boys I have taken time to write about their birth, categorized some pictures and at least wrote how I felt prior to their arrival.  Looking through those posts over the last few weeks, with Caldwell and Mason has been so fun.  They love comparing their hair, and having me read their hospital stories.  So here I am, less than a week before my due date with Baby #3 and here are some things I don't want to forget. 

1.  Naming this child might be the hardest thing I've ever done.  I have a list on my phone with 40+ names that Chris does NOT like.  We have finally narrowed it down to two or three, but I am still at odds on what this boy will be named. 

2.  A year a go in December I had a miscarriage. I don't say that for sympathy.  I say that because I've been very aware of when this baby is due because of that.  All along I've known without a shadow of a doubt that November 4th was my due date.  Then my doctor switched the date until November 8th.  Then when I went to the ultrasound the tech told me it was November 4th. Does four days even matter???? Probably not, but I'm trying to just think it's the 8th so I am not upset when this baby doesn't come this weekend. 

3.  I've never been more aware or a baby inside me, than this sweet boy.  My doctor told me because of where my placenta is placed I am more likely to feel him.  Oh boy, isn't that the truth.  I feel such a connection in utero this time around, his feet, spine and butt are almost visible to me as I feel his pokes and kicks.  If this is my last child, I will be forever grateful for all the feelings I have with this sweet boy inside me. 

4.  I have become obsessed with watching birth stories and deliveries on Youtube.  Childbirth has become more sacred and something I'm sad I didn't spend more time on with my other pregnancies.  I really love the entire hospital experience and have with Caldwell and Mason, but this time I am almost giddy with excitement about what's to come. 

5.  My left hip has never hurt more in my entire lift. 

6.  I've never had so much false labor in my life.  Up until about a week a go, I could have sworn I was in labor at least five or six times.  Now that it's go time, I feel nothing. 

7.  Caldwell is very aware that a baby is coming.  He knows more than a four year old should about childbirth and I've been more open than perhaps I should be.  One time he even asked if he could check out my bottom to see where the baby comes out.  That was a quick "NO!!!!" on my part, but I'm so glad he is so excited.  The other night Chris and I had to go to the hospital, just for a little bit and he was left with grandma.  Grandma explained he was anxious the entire time and asked me all about the visit as soon as he woke up the next morning. 

8.  Mason has no idea what is coming.  Though I've tried to explain, I am fearful for what is about to rock his world.  He is my shadow and literally spends 90% of his day saying, "by you?" or "help you?."  I know I am going to need a little less help than he is willing to offer and that makes me super nervous. 

9.  My mental game has been pretty strong this pregnancy.  I am so grateful, since that hasn't been the case, especially with Mason.  I think my ability to properly rest has been a huge contributing factor to how healthy this pregnancy has been for me.  Yet because I'm a worrier, I'm afraid it's all going to fall apart when the baby arrives.  The baby blues were very real to me when Caldwell was born.  The snow just kept falling and I just sat on the couch in utter shock, watching emotional TV shows.  I don't ever want that to happen again.  I think Chris is aware of my crazy and we have come up with a good healthy plan for the coming weeks, but cross your fingers ya'll. 

10.  Here is our Halloween pictures from this year.  Next year there will be three boys!

Thursday, June 28, 2018

Baby #3.....

With each pregnancy I imagine myself keeping track of the experience better.  However, every time is just so exhausting - ha. I remember thinking with Mason's pregnancy, that is my next baby is my last I'll cherish the moments better.  I'll remember what each kick feels like, because this experience doesn't come easily, nor often.  Yet here I am again counting down (with a long ways to go), because I'm just simply not very good at focusing on the good of pregnancy. However, there are a few things I'd like to remember.

1.  This is my first pregnancy I haven't had to work 50+ hours a week in utero.  Man, does that make a difference.  It's been so much easier and I truly believe it's because I can eat when I'm feeling nausea and I can lay down if I need to rest. What a concept, huh!

2.  We've fallen into a bit of a routine where each morning we go hard.  Swimming, splash pad, or park and then we make it home in time for lunch.  After lunch Mason goes down for a long nap and I let Caldwell watch a show while I sleep or rest sometimes for two hours.  I was feeling guilty about the TV but then I decided I just simply love having my big guy next to me, snuggled into my back watching his show while Mason sleeps.  It makes the business of dinner and evening so much better if I get that little bit of rest.

3. I literally can't brush my teeth without throwing up.  This started about 16 weeks (isn't this when you stop puking?) I am still brushing my teeth, but I dread it every time.

4. Caldwell & Mason play together so well and I have finally come to the conclusion that two kids is by far better than one.  I am no longer the sole entertainer.  Yet the day they started playing well, they also started fighting.  It's so annoying!  I swear I say "Why is Mason squealing 42 times a day."

5. I wouldn't say I've had any big cravings this time around.  Which is good because in the past it's always been something super unhealthy.  I really enjoy watermelon right now, and english muffins with almond butter.

6. There are a couple girls in my neighborhood who have their babies at home without any sort of drugs for the pain.  At first I was totally put off by the whole idea, but hearing them talk about it keeps me entirely fascinated.  One of my girlfriends gave me a number of books that I've been enthralled in.  Childbirth is so interesting to me. I am still having this baby in a hospital and I'll probably get the drugs but......its just all so interesting.

7.  I found it so interesting when I got married and especially when I had Caldwell that people were full of advice.  To be honest, it occurred so often I hardly ever listened.  Then once I had Caldwell, and then Mason, I totally understood the advice wagon.  Though I try hard not to be on it.  I wonder what my advice might be.  Having kids is totally encompassing and it's just the type of thing you don't know, until you go through it.

Currently my kids are fighting....which is why I never finish a post.  So I am just throwing this up because I'll never get back to it.  But aren't they cute?

Sunday, February 4, 2018

Life Right Now....

I have been wanting to sit down and write some things about life and the boys right now, but I just can't seem to get to it.  So here is a small list that will have to do for now.

- Kids are interesting.  I find that when Caldwell is in a harder phase, than I find Mason so delightful and cute I can hardly handle it.  Then they switch.

- I felt this way when Caldwell was a baby, but I believe it to be true with Mason as well.  If I open my eyes in the middle of the night or in the morning, Mason can sense it and wakes up too.  Even though he sleeps in another room.  I've really been trying to wake up earlier than the boys to get some writing for my Podcast done and scripture study and literally not matter how quiet I am, Mason is up seconds later.

-Monday and Wednesdays Grandma Jan picks up Caldwell from Preschool and will keep him another hour or so.  Sometimes they do McDonald's or he plays at her house.  Mason usually goes down for a nap and having that free time, is amazing.

- Chris is so busy lately.  He'll be traveling the next two weeks for work, and has to travel in March too.  I love that he's busy and thriving in his career, but I hate sleeping here alone.  It's crazy to see how much we anticipate his arrival home each night.

- I've fallen back into the habit or watching TV at night instead of doing my wellness routine.  Which usually includes reading, meditation, writing, bubble baths, laughing with Chris.  I hate that I like TV so much and I'm refocused for the week ahead.

- I've been thinking a lot about how to parent my kids in certain topics that are heavy on my heart.  Along with,putting more focus and money into emergency preparedness.  As I think, I make fake speeches in my head about how we can address some of this harder topics (gay marriage, womanhood, premarital sex, abuse) without hurting people's feelings who are dealing with this in their everyday.  How can I teach my kids to be sensitive, inclusive, and kind but also stand up.  I've come to the conclusion, I can't teach them if I don't do it.  So I'm thinking about that....

- Since Christmas Caldwell literally asks for a cookie everyday for breakfast.  We NEVER have cookies for breakfast so I can't figure out why he asks.

- Caldwell creates all day long.  He glues, draws, and cuts paper.  Often using things he finds outside for his creative endeavors and then we hang it on the fridge or stack it on his dresser.  Every other day I go in and throw away half of it.  Sometimes he realizes, sometimes he doesn't.  I have no idea what to do with all this, but I like that he does it.

-Mason literally only cares about what animals are in the book, on the street, on the TV and wants to know what sound they make.  When the cat my neighbor and I share (long story) sits in the window.  He will literally stare at it FOREVER.  When we went to the zoo this week, the lion got right up and came eye to eye with Mason.  He was literally the only kid, amongst many, who didn't back away.  Then moments later the same thing happened with an ape.  I want to remember this for when he literally becomes a zoo keeper one day.

That's all I have time for now. Caldwell is 4, Mason 19 Months....

Sunday, January 7, 2018

New Year, New Hair...

A week before Christmas Chris asked me what I wanted.  It has been awhile since I had colored my hair.  In fact, I'd come to the conclusion that the time and money it cost was no longer a priority and I wanted to try and grow it out to my natural color.  But then when he had no ideas for presents I told him I wanted to go get my hair colored at an actual salon. So that's what I got.  The stylist took a before picture.  Ahhhh, guys why didn't anyone tell me.  This was even after she cut about 4-5 inches off.  Gross! 

The after - guys, this is legit my hair.  I'm as blown away as you are. 
 Here I am blonde again.  It's amazing what a couple hours at the salon can do.  I think I might make blonde a priority in 2018....

Saturday, January 6, 2018

The end of 2017....

There's a thing that people do at the start of a new year where they come up with a word for the year and then focus on that word throughout the year or something.  I guess this post is about that, but in reverse.  If I had to label 2017 with one word it would have been CONTENT.  Which is crazy because January 2nd of 2017, the day I quit my job, was really hard.  I felt defeated, rejected and maybe even like a failure, but most of all, I felt like I was letting everyone down.  The weeks that followed was difficult because there was so much aftermath from me quitting. I lived in a permanent state of anxiety for at least 30 days because the phone calls about accounts and what I was doing just kept coming.  Finally, I came to realize that everyone I spoke to.  Especially family and friends who I was managing a lot of money for all said the same thing.  "We're so glad you get to be home with your kids."  They were all willing to put in the work of figuring out their accounts so I could be home with my boys and their support and respect will continue to be one of the greatest blessings of my life. 

From there I did everything I could to find myself again.  I didn't miss reading the scriptures each day.  In fact, my true and real testimony of the Book of Mormon will be from this time of my life.  Sure I'd read it before.  I would have said I had a testimony before.  But never before this time of anxiety did those words bring more peace to my mind.  In fact, during some of those tough conversations I feel strongly that if I hadn't been reading each day the outcomes would have been different. I started meditating.  The only true cure I have found for worry, stress or better yet overall health.  I walked a lot.  I am still not where I'd like to be health wise permanently, but everyday despite the temperature, we'd bundle up and walk through the cemetery.  I was creative for me, mostly writing as much or as little as I wanted.  It felt good. But most of all the thing that I think made me the most content is that I got more time with the people I love. The majority of Chris and I's arguments used to be based around me feeling the pressure of work and home and the truth is when I'm home it's just more simple for both of us.  I'm not on his case about helping out as much because I'm home.  Oh and the boys, I will forever be grateful for this year full of their funny stuff.  Sure, there were hard times.  I wore wear sweatpants too much.  I watch too much TV sometimes and I get mad at the boys, but 2017 was content. 

Monday, November 27, 2017

I have a podcast....

Last night I wrote a big long post about why I started Pond Town Podcast, but then I deleted it.  The summary was simply that releasing this podcast makes my stomach hurt.  It's an Audio-book shared chapter by chapter. I've been writing for awhile and never told anyone.  Still wasn't planning to, but then Chris encouraged me to share something.  I wrote this story quickly, just to finally MOVE forward.  It's not supposed to be the greatest piece of literature in history, just a fun Christmas story based on my hometown in Salem, Utah.  The first three episodes are out today, and more will release next week. 

If you like podcasts (they're FREE) I hope you will listen.  Also, if you like it (or even if you don't, but you like me or are related to me) than perhaps you might give me a (good) review on iTunes because that will probably make my stomach hurt less and it helps other people (who are not my mom and sister) find the story. 

P.S. How many parenthesis can you use in one paragraph?