Monday, August 29, 2011

Calm Chris Part 1....

It's always blown my mind that someone could commit to marriage and not have a full fledged panic attack inside, or even commit at all.  I've always been a real freak about forever. In other words I'm marrying Chris not just for time but for eternity.  Divorce not an option.  Were talking forever here folks.  Coming to terms with such a big decision can be difficult.  However I've come to realize that the reason I was able to say yes when Chris knelt down on one knee is because he is calm.

I've always dated quite a bit.  I feel like I've had ample opportunities to find someone, it just wasn't there.  There have been times I've tried to force it and times when no matter how much I tried- I just couldn't fathom the idea of kissing the other person, let along marrying them.  Chris snuck up on me because he was my friend first.  Two years a go when we met if you would have told me I'd marry him- I would have laughed.  No, actually I would have called you an idiot.  Chris doesn't like me to talk about how much I didn't like him at first.  So for his benefit we will just say it took me awhile to warm up to the idea.  I had some pre-conceived notions I had to get over. I believe he being the last person I ever saw myself with is exactly what makes our story so perfect.

The thing is, I was in Cedar and he's always been in Provo.  Our first date wasn't until December of last year but before that he would send me the funniest things on FB.  Our first date and even after I didn't think it was going anywhere. He was in his thirties for crying out loud.  But here's where I think Chris got me.  Chris was different because no matter what a freak I was through the whole process.  I hate calling our story a process by the way.  Chris handled dating Danielle like a champ...I think it's his wise old age. (JK Babe).  There was a lot of this going on at first.

I like you.
I don't like you.
I hate the word boyfriend.
Were not dating.
Don't date other girls.
Who were you out with last night?
We can't hang out this weekend.
I can't wait to see you this weekend.
I wish I didn't like you so much.  

You get the point. I'd even make plans to hang out with him and then bail 10 minutes later. I won't write about the panic attack I had outside his house under a tree where I told him that we were just too different, from two different worlds and it was a waste of time.

His response was always - "okay whatever you decide, but I really like you"

He never once tried to make it more than it was. He never once sent me a relationship status change on FB until I sent him one a few days after we were engaged.  One time I had someone do that after a first date. Barf!  He didn't barge me with text messages or phone calls.  He let me be busy in Cedar and somehow our text messages turned into phone calls.  I started looking forward to every weekend home and all the sudden summer at the parentals wasn't the worst thing in the world.  It just happened.  Calmly.....

1 comment :

  1. I seriously love this story! And I love you! You are so amazing and Chris sounds like such a great guy! You are both so lucky to have each other! This wedding day Cannot come any faster!!!