Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Choices...

I've always hated change and making choices.  I don't consider myself an expert on the subject matter, but it always seems like I'm faced with life changing decisions all at once.  Never having to choose between good or bad, or not to do something, or to do something, but rather between two great choices that bring a great amount of change all at once. Both in which would lead me down two completely separate paths -both great paths. 

In my mind I always thought once you choose a college and a husband than all the big decisions would be decided.  The truth is, choosing a college stunk and I ended up attending three. The hardest part was choosing what to do after college - someone should make an orientation for that. Choosing a husband was even harder and without the series of miracles Chris and I experienced, I doubt I would be married today.  Here I am graduated with a Master's Degree with a husband and still faced with two different paths.  Having a husband and a degree just leaves more ideas and people to consider.  

My sister in law recently took a leap of faith and moved back to California. My husband wasn't particularly ecstatic about it, but she told me she had made a list of the things she wanted in life and was hoping to get there through this move.  I admire her ability to make that change.

I know everything can't come at once.  I know God has a plan.  I know decisions are hard, but while two things weigh heavily on my mind.  I thought I'd take her advice and make a list of the things I want.

1.  I want Chris to finish school.  I want him to be able to go to school full-time without stressing about work.  I want him to realize how smart he is, and gain the abilities to get a job that makes him feel valued.

2.  I want children.  Not today or maybe not even in the next year or two.  The whole thought still terrifies me, but I've come around to idea of wanting them.

3.  I want to travel.  I want my future family to travel.  I would rather live in this tiny apartment the rest of my life, than in a huge house, if it meant I never had to be home but rather was out seeing the world.

4.  I want to be healthier and learn to cook healthier.  I want to not end up at Arby's after four days in a row of sick dinner.

5.  I want to enjoy my job.  I don't mind if there is trials or struggles.  I just don't want to dread Monday's and I don't want Chris to dread Monday's either.

6.  I don't want any debt.  I want to pay off the little we do have and SAVE, SAVE, SAVE! One day I want to have a scholarship in our name and give money to poor kids going to college, or something equally as awesome. Ok that thought is way too extreme right now, but I wouldn't mind a stash even if it's just tiny.

7.  I want to be better at church and the gospel.  I say better at it, because I want to like my ward.  I want to not think people are weird all the time.  I want to enjoy comments in Relief Society.  I want  Chris and I to radiate the gospel and share it with others more- including all the above wants.

8.  I want an I-pad and new running shoes really bad.

I think that's all - and I can probably live without number eight. 
Wish me luck!







P.S. Happy Valentines - I Love Chris!

2 comments :

  1. how about me being the one that is all choked up now! i need to make a list like this too, i think i have one in my brain and have hoped it gets accomplished by my boston move but it definitely needs to be in writing. thank you for inspiring me! love you and your honesty!

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  2. Love this post! You are amazing and will do great in life, I just know it! I am so happy to read your posts and know that you are happy in your marriage. That is most important all the other stuff will come but if you are truly happy with the one you spend your life with that is what matters most! Miss you a ton and wish you'd come to visit. (P.S. I love the saying about it not being the end. A friend gave me a card that said that when we found out about Avery and I have loved it ever since and always go back to it. It's a good one!)

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