Saturday, March 31, 2012

Ellen Degen's creep photo's...

Oh my good gracious.  Ellen Degeneres does a lil thing called on her site with hilarious/slightly revolting pictures.  I happen to find it out of this world entertaining.  This morning I found the "Bad Easter Photo's" link. 
 What a horribly scary bunny.  There's more where these came from here.  However, that link led to something a little better called "Bad Hair Photo's."
 Please tell me the zipper down the head isn't about the most awfully intriguing thing you've ever seen.
 Hello 80's. I actually thought it was my sister for a minute.  I mean the hair is so Jenny. But check out that shirt - no one does "just pulled off the shoulders" anymore - ain't it a shame.
All credit for these photo's go to Ellen.  I'm hoping right now you have already clicked on this link and Ellen is entertaining the heck out of ya.


Thursday, March 29, 2012

If this post doesn't do it for you, I don't know what will...

My brother just called and referred to this post when the first thing he said was, "Do you know how long it would take to ride a horse from Heber to Salem?" 

As if he thinks I couldn't do it.

His next statement, "You realize the horse you steal isn't going to be that broke?"

Clearly, he prefers I stay up here and starve to death without protection.

Now I need a new plan, a new brother and a better horse.


 Totally unrelated but also noteworthy - the neighbs filled an entire 18 wheeler to move their crap.  If this isn't blowing your mind, please come see our baby apartment.  It's the biggest in the complex! I'm hoping they yard sale - I mean they're going to have to because there is no way all that fit.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Gidget...

As a right of passage my madre pulled these out when us girls became a women (hopefully you know what I mean and don't judge me for making you think about it). We got to stay home from school and watch the whole series. Which starts with a blonde, goes to a red head and ends with a brownie.  Go figure! My personal fav is Gidget Goes Hawaiian - red head!
 I would totally wear every single swimsuit Miss Gidg owns. 
 I'd probably wear every shirt Moondoggie owned too.  I've always wanted my very own Jeffrey Matthews.  In my mind he's never aged, but I don't recall seeing him in any other movies.
A few years a go I found out about the Sally Field series, and Gidget changed my life again.  This time I was actually a women and didn't get to stay home from school.  Clearly, it was important you were aware of that.
Sally really didn't do it for me in Mrs. Doubtfire, but I wish with every fiber of my being that I could be this version of Miss Sal.

Right now I'm going to put the link to Amazon so you can go buy these movies for cheapster and let them change your life.  Also, if your a mom and want to be good at your job, then you should let your daughters watch the series when they become real women!


Excuse me, now I have to go Google to find out if Moondoggie is still alive.
Hang Ten!

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

I'm not even half joking about this conversation...

I've been making plans for a meeting spot with Chris in case something catastrophic happens. Clearly, it's the best use of my time. 

Our conclusion, by our, I mean mine (he was watching a whole lot of basketball while this was happening in my head) if something big happens we have got to make it back to the parentals house.  They have all the food storage, water, guns and ammo! Because in my disaster there's a lot of savages - just like in Pocahontas.  

So there I am, telling Chris that he should just go straight to Salem if he's at work in Orem.  He might even be able to find my mom on the way, because she works in Orem too.  He then asked me how I'm going to get to Salem - obv (obviously) steal a horse from a field and ride it. So then he says, "what if we just meet at the tunnel in the Canyon?"  Why didn't I think of that?  Duh, because the tunnel collapsed!!  I swear he doesn't think sometimes.

His next question really threw me through a loop, "What if were both in Heber? How am I going to steal a horse and ride it to Salem?"

Clearly we haven't worked out all the kinks yet.

Monday, March 26, 2012

We Moved...

Change is inevitable.
I've always seemed to struggle with it.
We loved our old place.
We love our new one too.
"The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for." -Allan K Chambers

When you have all three there's no reason to struggle!
Here's to Heber City!
Come and visit will ya?

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

GPS LOVE...

I remember having to breakup with a particular boy three different times.  The last time, he told me life was like a GPS, and no matter how many wrong turns I decided to take, things would re-calculate and I would marry who I was supposed to.  His point at the time -I was making a wrong turn by not choosing him.  My point right now -  I'm so glad I took the detour.  No matter how much he words stung, or how bitterly he played off my emotions.  I realize now he was completely right.  Sometimes you wonder if your doing enough.  Sometimes you think your doing too much.  But my advice - enjoy the scenery. Before you know it, you will have reached your destination, and you'll have someone there to  help you re-set the GPS (or be sick on the coach). Either way it's perfect!
I love Chris!

Monday, March 19, 2012

Celery...

I hate it.
Chris wants me to eat it all the time.
There are only two reasons in which I would eat celery.
1. If it's in some type of cooked form, then chopped finely, accompanied by some other ingredients resembling soup.
2. It was doused in Cafe Rio dressing.  Mostly because I'd probably eat anything doused in Cafe Rio dressing.


P.S. I'm commuting and moving right now. This is how I feel 115% of the time. Sorta what I imagine celery looking like if it were a person - gross, someone should seriously douse me in Cafe Rio dressing.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

The Pits...

I forgot what it was like to be an adult, by adult I mean working 40 hours a week.  I feel like I put in longer hours in graduate school, but this week I just feel so tired.  I drift off to sleep before Chris even turns over for a lil kisser good night.  Starting new jobs are "the pits"- my mom always says things are "the pits." In my mind "the pits" are the things you go through to get to the good stuff.   Sorta like climbing through a nast to get to the fun part. The results of "the pits" usually turns out to be pretty good.  Maybe this makes no sense.  Please tell me someone elses mom says, "that's the pits" on a regular basis. 
The good news is, I'm learning so much.  Everyone should get a week crash course in a firm.  Life lessons right here baby!  I feel so Wall Street with all this- so many suites and pantyhose. I also don't feel like not writing this anymore.  I'm really sorry for the abrupt ending. I much prefer going to give Chris a little kisser so I can drift off to sleep!
Peace!

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Shirts with elastic fur...

Lace around the bottom of T-shirt was such a good idea.  Except everyone forgot about washing machines, and those three pieces of elastic that form a roll like feature that somehow resembles elastic fur.  This feature has undoubtedly accentuated muffin tops across the globe.  So on this day, March 10, 2011 I officially tossed all my lace bottomed shirts with elastic fur.
You're Welcome
Also, I'm sorry if you look down and see lace around the bottom of your shirt.  Which in reality is probably in some sort of rolled up formation right now.  Don't hate me because I'm right.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

A MAJOR INTERVIEW...

I really like my husband and I think he is really funny.  Since he's such a shy guy, his humor often goes unappreciated.  At night we lay in bed and laugh so hard, it's hard to fall asleep.  Therefore, I thought I'd spread his goodness through an interview; which I'm posting.  However, realize I'm going to continue to capture his humor.  I promise he's got better stuff - but here it goes anyway.

D:  What is your favorite animal? 
C:  My favorite animal? It would have to be the male lion - that doesn't make me gay. I just like the thing around it's head. Your not posting any of this shit, but man they're fierce.

D:  Why do you like YouTube so much?
C:   Because Charlie bit my finger. That video got me.  I've been hooked ever since.

D:  Why do you always forget to replace the toilet paper role when you use all our toilet paper?
C:  Did I just forget to do the paper roll in there?  I need my blanket - did you put it in the dryer?

D:  If you had to pick any celebrity to play you in a movie, who would it be?
C:  Brad Pitt. Duh.
D:  Do you want to add anymore to that?
C:  No

D:  What is your favorite thing about being married to me?
C:  You brought in a grilled cheese sandwhich maker, well you really brought everything, but I really like that.  JK JK - Umm, favorite thing?  I don't know Rose. I'm just thankful your someone ....Rose you can't ask that question.  Erase all of that right now. What the hell are you writing?

D:  What is your favorite joke?
C:  That's what she said jokes, or the one about the women with black eyes.  You're not going to want to post this.  Oh wait, what about the mating call joke (while he pulls up his shirt and starts slapping his belly) I don't think your family wants to read that though.
D:  Is my family the only people who read my blog?
C:  No, me and my mom read it.

D:  How many children do you want?
C:  As much as those hips can handle. 

D:  Where do you see yourself in five years?
C:  These are interview questions for like a job!  Who knows, wherever the Lord wants me.
D:  Thanks for adding me in there.
C:  Just add yourself in there or something.

D:  What is your favorite thing about yourself?
C:  I wasn't done with the last question... but definitely my sense of humor.  I'm  a pretty funny guy.  I'm probably funnier than Eddy Murphy and Dave Chappelle and Larry the Cable Guy put together on their best day.

D:  Who is your favorite person in my family?
C:   That's a tough one.  It's probably Landon, because all he wants to do is ride horses and I wish you would take me to ride some horses.  Baby! The Office is coming on...

And that's about where I lost him...


P.S.  I let Chris choose the picture to add.  He choose this one and said, "You look so cute in that picture, dark tan, cute smile and holdin my belly!"

Monday, March 5, 2012

My New Job...

Park City! Sales assistant for a brokerage firm.  I'm working in finance - who knew?  We are so pleased with the offer.  I start in one week. There's been so much to do and see.  This photo is from a trip we made this weekend to Heber - where we will most likely be relocating.  Our first priority now is to get rid of our place in Spanish Fork.  So if you know of any renters, it's an absolutely amazing price and we have a pantry!  Seriously, the only thing I ever care about is pantries - which somehow just looks like the word panties when I type it - Sorry!
Wish us luck!
Chris: "Who wants to go ice fishing?"
Danielle: "Go figure."
Chris: "I think I want to become a professional ice fisherman.  Jk Jk I want to get me some blades -you guard your goal and I'll guard mine."
Danielle: "What?"

Friday, March 2, 2012

Cool things happening in my head...

- There's so much I want to say about my new job, but there's still so much yet to be finalized.  However, it is in Park City and will require a move.  We are excited - more about Park City than actually moving our crap.

- Being married to Chris is basically the best thing on the planet.  Yes I realize there are a lot of things on the planet.  I spend every night before bed laughing my head off - I love him.

- If I had to choose someone to play me in a movie. I would choose Gabriel Union.  Clearly, because we look so much a like.

- Zac Efron dropped a condom on the red carpet at the Lorax premier.  For some reason he's twelve in my mind and doesn't know what condoms are. How inappropriate will my mom find those two sentences?

- Yesterday I went to Sonic to get a drink and forgot our new debit cards hadn't arrived.  After digging in the ash tray. (Do people still call them that?) I was still one cent short. Bummer.

- My immune system got lost somewhere in 2011.  Since the new year I've managed to contract every mucus element that's ever existed. Double bummer.

-  I feel better doing boring things now that I'm sort of employed.  Yesterday after I realized I didn't have the debit card I did what most people would do.  I went and strolled Wal-Mart.  Although I didn't have any money I still pushed a cart to make them think I did.  Did you know Wal-Mart has a decent camping section?  Who knew?

- Sophia Grace & Rosie is about the best thing I've ever seen.  If you haven't seen them click here.

- I like Ron Paul.  If bumper stickers didn't gross me out, I'd probably get one for him and Mitt.  I say Mitt too, because I don't want G-ma Ruth to hate me.

- I've made the executive decision to try not to color my hair until the end of summer.  Hopefully this happens and my hair gets healthy.  Keep in mind that summer is happening in my head right now, so August might be very far away.

- This year will be the first year I won't get to buy back to school supplies.  I obviously should have bought more trapper keepers while I could.

- I'm really excited for camping this summer.  Chris and I have been looking at different tents.  Were having a debate about cots vs. a blow up mattress.  If you would like to add your opinion to the comment section it would be muchly appreciate.  (Keep in mind I'm pro blow up mattress.)

- Starting work will mean that I won't be able to watch Kelly Ripa at 9:00 and Ellen at 3:00.  I have to find someway to get a DVR before then.  Daytime TV is such a joke - a very very good joke.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Luke...

I tried to be a real sneak and take pictures of my nephs for my sister-in-law for Christmas.  It turned out to be freezing.  His little brother lasted fourteen seconds. Lu was so cute wanting to surprise his mom and braved the cold for about 30 seconds.  It was so horrible, and I never took them off my SD card  Photographing humans is always a real trick.  I keep thinking taking photo's of my own little humans will be easier because then I can force them to do whatever I want.  Don't call the copes I'm joking - kind of. Clearly, there was no forcing involved. Luke was so fun and I can't believe I didn't try harder to make our lil surprise happen - even if only like one picture worked.