Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Life Changes....

I think everyone goes through different stages of reflection.  My thoughts are so different first thing in the morning than they are when I fall asleep.  Why is it when we fall asleep that our mind thinks up the strangest things?  

Lately I've been thinking a lot about living contently, and reflecting on all the change that's taken place in my life the last couple years.  Here's the thing.  I hate change.  In fact it's thing about myself that I've always hated.  I always wanted to be that girl in college who lived in the same apartment for four years, choose a major and stuck with it, has a good 5+ years at a job, you know that type of thing.  Let me explain why I've never been that girl....

1st year of college - Salt Lake and Orem - Two different Universities
Live in New York - why not!
Finish College in Orem - four different apartment complexes - three jobs 
1 year working - 1 apartment complex, 400 different hotels
Two years of graduate school - live three different places
Spanish Fork Apartment - First 2 months of Marriage
1st year of marriage - Live in Heber, work in Finance
Move to Provo, keep an adult job, have a child.....

At night I've always laid in bed thinking about what I was going to do next.  I always had some sort of completion date that would bring something new, something different.  The end of the semester, graduating, getting married, or moving to another job.  Everything was inconsistent and there was always an end in site.  The entire time I longed for no more changes.  Live in one place long enough to make it a home.  Have a husband. Have a family.  Work somewhere longer than 12 months. 

Here I am with all of that.  Chris and I are finally in a good place.  We love where we are living.  I can see us here for awhile.  We want to raise our family close to the people we love.  Everything I own no longer fits in the backseat of my car, and we're going to have a baby. Call me crazy, but the lack of change in my life is what scares me the most.  Living with change is hard, but I'm finding that living content is even harder.  At night I daydream Chris gets a job in Europe or some crazy place that we have to move to for a couple years.  It sounds like such a nice option. 

I realize this all makes me sound superficial.  I realize having a baby is a huge change.  One that will beat out all my other crazy adventures.  However, until then and moving forward I've tried to make five goals for myself and my family.  Something that will help me remember that the changes you want to make in your life can happen without moving, or switching jobs.

1.  Keep planning adventures.  Make travel a higher priority.
2.  Keep my professional dreams alive.  All of the sudden I have these thoughts and feelings of being a stay at home mom.  I have no strict opinion on either or and hope not to offend, but I really want to keep some sort of outside work alive.  Even if my 50+ hour weeks are not a reality. .
3.  Center my home more around serving others.  
4.  Get rid of TV and spend my evenings doing something more productive.  Read more books!
5.  Leave the house messy and let more important things take priority.  Give in to Chris when he would rather have a hug after a long day than a clean kitchen. 

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