Monday, June 22, 2015

Consumption...

I've written this post in my head a thousand times.  It's in regards to something I'm currently struggling with - being a working mom.  See the thing is I identify with feminism, I mean who can't on at least one aspect or another.  Yet day in and day out I try to manage both motherhood and work and it all just feels exhausting.  I've pin pointed my struggle to this - up until about three weeks a go Caldwell went to bed at 7:30 every night.  Since I usually get home about 4:30, I felt like I was only being a mom three hours a day and during those hours I also had to make dinner, run errands, and sometimes just collapse on the couch after work.  Even the thought of expanding our family made my heart sink.  An hour and a half each day, per kid isn't right.  It just isn't.  Both my mom and mother in law were working moms, they know my struggle, they hear my voice but I can't help but just keep thinking.  Why is this so hard for me?  As I've thought about this over and over I've come to the conclusion this ins't a feminist issue.  It's a consumption issue.  My grandmother who was a stay at home mom talks about how much she enjoyed being at home with her kids.  She didn't live in a fancy house, they made many of their own clothes and she managed a big garden that helped to feed all seven of her kids.  It was a simpler time, one where people simply lived on less, which is something I think it is worth spending more time focusing on rather than feminism.  That being said, the obvious conclusion didn't occur to me until almost 18 months after C was born - put him to bed later!

P.S.  I know this is a controversial topic, your input is welcome below.

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