Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Bates Family Motto - Inspired by Tom Cruise

Last night Chris and I got a babysitter (shocking) and went to the $5 Tuesday movie – Mission Impossible 3.  His choice, not mine because about a month ago he made me watch the first one on Netflix and I fell asleep, unimpressed.  So I guess I was surprised on how much I liked the movie last night. 

My favorite part of the movie was at the end when Rebecca Ferguson (I had to google her name, I don’t remember her name in the movie) gave Tom three options as they sat in a train terminal.  The first two options involved schemes to fight the bad guy that would most likely end up bad for Tom or the girl; however, the third option was to run away with her.  She had a valid argument, “we can be whoever we want to be, we can do whatever we want to do!”  That line hit me and I sat in my movie chair thinking, I haven’t felt that way in a really long time.  Then I began rooting for Tom, “choose that option Tom!  You can do anything Tom, take option three!” The words were literally screaming in my head and I was seriously pissed when he chose to continue to fight the bad guys and eventually win for the greater good.  This isn’t a spoiler; we all knew Tom would live in the end before we even went to the movie.  

I’ve thought about this feeling all night and on my drive to work this morning.  Growing up my parents did a really good job making us believe we could do or be anything we wanted?  Now that I have Caldwell I’m sort of in awe at how well they accomplished this.  They’ve created independence in each of us, an independence that I think I forgot about a little bit until last night.  I always tell Chris that I want to have a motto for our family.  I used to tell Chris our motto was, “Bates get up early and get shit done!”  Mostly because Chris hates getting up early and I thought my motto might urge him out of his Saturday morning comma.  I’ve lost that battle, and today I think I’m done fighting it.  The new family motto is, “The Bates Family can be whoever they want to be, and do whatever they want to do!”

P.S. It’s funny that I’ve this huge revelation during a Tom Cruise movie because in real life isn’t his brain basically being controlled by scientology.  Strange parallel don’t you think.

Friday, August 14, 2015

Ignorance Isn't Bliss....

Today I went to a lunch meeting, the meeting was for a professional women's group.  An organization I sit on the board of, and an association I really enjoy.  The meeting today was on story telling and the ability to tell your story effectively in business.  At the end the speaker allowed for question and answer.  A middle aged women sitting across from me said, "what happens when your telling someone your story and their eyes glaze over, and it's obvious that person doesn't care about you or your story?"  I loved this question so much, and I expressed that from across the table.  The speakers answer was, "the person who is ignoring your story, has probably been ignored so much they reverberate those feelings back onto you ."  That struck me so hard.  I recalled speaking to the same women who asked the question when she came in, she had been telling me something about antiques but now as I recall back on her story, I can't remember it.  I wasn't focused and I'm sitting here with a sinking feeling that perhaps my eyes were the one's that glazed over.

Each day with my work I'm constantly ignored.  Don't feel bad, it's part of the industry and I'm well aware of what I do and it's effects on who I am, but today it stuck.  Maybe I'm getting ignored so much that I'm starting to ignore others.  A thought that made me re-evaluate who I am, what I'm doing, and the person I truly want to become.

Thursday, August 13, 2015

7 ways to cope with being a working mom...

This post has sat uncompleted for awhile now.  I think because I don't really cope with being a working mom very well, but here is 7 things that do help me out on occasion.

1.  Buy frozen/canned vegetables - These take nearly half the time to cook than fresh. My kid loves fruit, and I regularly have fresh fruit in the fridge but you can't give a kid with four teeth a raw carrot, so get yourself some frozen crap for the freezer to make you feel less guilty about re-heating the Kraft Mac & Cheese from the night before.

2.  Stop doing things you hate - I hate putting zip up pajamas on a toddler you just greased down with lotion.  I thought babies had to be lotion-ed after the bath, they don't, C's skin has managed just fine and I enjoy the 10 extra minutes I'm not fighting with my toddler before bed.  Don't do something just because you think you're supposed to.

3.  Allow screen time  - Everything in moderation, I know.  But the minute C would sit and watch Thomas the Train while I showered was the minute I figured I could do this whole mommy gig.

4.  Get outside after work  - I used to give myself a half hour to lay on the couch after work every day, soak up a little Ellen.  I stopped, one because I found it annoying when my own mom used to do that. (I'm not judging you mom, I totally get it.) But I realized if I don't just change my clothes and go straight outside my half hour might turn into an hour and I just don't have that time to waste.

5.  Don't put your baby in bed with you for any reason what so ever  - Treat this like bible my friends because trying to break your toddlers habit of rubbing his tiny little rump up next to your head night after night is about the hardest thing I've ever done.

6.  Stop drinking caffeine - I just killed about 15 little mom hearts and I'm sorry but it's true.  I don't stand to be the opitemy of good heath.  I eat truck loads of sugar and I'm over weight, but caffeine messes with your sleeping and when you have a baby you don't need to add any other sleep element to the mix.  Once I stopped caffeine my world changed.

7. Say family prayer - it makes you feel like your doing something right when your kid screams out "Amen" in sacrament, especially when you feel like your missing so much being at work all day.

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

36 Years...

This morning as I drove to work I thought about Chris.  His birthday was on Sunday and I had literally the craziest week of my life last week.  By Sunday I was so exhausted I felt like I couldn’t get out of bed, a combination between working more than 60+ hours last week and being sick, it was difficult to celebrate Chris.  In honor of his birthday I thought I’d share some of my thoughts from this morning here.

-          Chris laughs constantly, it’s infectious.  He saves clips he sees on TV, sends me links to Youtube of complete and utter nonsense that sometimes isn’t even funny.  But when I watch them with him he laughs so hard he can’t breathe.

-          Chris NEVER complains.  It’s almost obnoxious how pleasant he is about his work, and interactions with others.

-          Every move Caldwell makes Chris stands in awe of.  Chris is a very hands on dad, who spends countless hours in thrilling wrestling matches with C on our bed.  They are both sweaty and filled with laughter at the end.

-          Chris see’s the good in me that sometimes I can’t.  Last night I broke a light bulb in our room with a blanket I was using to make our bed.  Chris vacuumed it up in frustration saying, “you are either extremely brilliant or extremely stupid and there is no in between.”  He might speak truth, but regardless; he helps clean up my messes and encourages my brilliance.

-          Chris’s mind is extremely hard to conceptualize – it’s something I try to do often.   The majority of our conversations are me talking, but every once in a while he will talk and talk.  He’s interested in space, architecture, gospel doctrine, technology, music, etc.  It’s hard to keep up with the way his mind works.

-          There’s no one tighter than Chris – he holds on to cash like it’s the great depression.  At our annual budget meeting each year his focus is only if we paid our tithing in full, and more accountability when it comes to getting to the temple once a month.  This can sometimes be annoying, but the right kind of annoying.

-          Chris has a stubbornness that pronounces itself often and has aided in his success.  He sticks to his guns and doesn’t falter when it comes to things that are important.  He is strong willed in everything he does, which is counterbalanced by indecisiveness.  The guy can’t choose where to eat or what to get on the menu to save his life.

Life with Chris is such a whirlwind of laughter.  Even when we’re having our moments or when we’ve faced our biggest struggles there’s just something that’s been right about “us” from the beginning.  I feel so strongly he is the best person for me that sometimes that gratitude turns into guilt.  I’m reminded each day how grateful I am that a troubling marriage isn’t my trial.       

Chris got an edible arrangement from his sister Julie for his birthday, which I was pretty jealous of, since I've wanted one forever!!!

More birthday posts about Chris HERE, HERE, HERE & HERE