Sunday, January 7, 2018

New Year, New Hair...

A week before Christmas Chris asked me what I wanted.  It has been awhile since I had colored my hair.  In fact, I'd come to the conclusion that the time and money it cost was no longer a priority and I wanted to try and grow it out to my natural color.  But then when he had no ideas for presents I told him I wanted to go get my hair colored at an actual salon. So that's what I got.  The stylist took a before picture.  Ahhhh, guys why didn't anyone tell me.  This was even after she cut about 4-5 inches off.  Gross! 

The after - guys, this is legit my hair.  I'm as blown away as you are. 
 Here I am blonde again.  It's amazing what a couple hours at the salon can do.  I think I might make blonde a priority in 2018....

Saturday, January 6, 2018

The end of 2017....

There's a thing that people do at the start of a new year where they come up with a word for the year and then focus on that word throughout the year or something.  I guess this post is about that, but in reverse.  If I had to label 2017 with one word it would have been CONTENT.  Which is crazy because January 2nd of 2017, the day I quit my job, was really hard.  I felt defeated, rejected and maybe even like a failure, but most of all, I felt like I was letting everyone down.  The weeks that followed was difficult because there was so much aftermath from me quitting. I lived in a permanent state of anxiety for at least 30 days because the phone calls about accounts and what I was doing just kept coming.  Finally, I came to realize that everyone I spoke to.  Especially family and friends who I was managing a lot of money for all said the same thing.  "We're so glad you get to be home with your kids."  They were all willing to put in the work of figuring out their accounts so I could be home with my boys and their support and respect will continue to be one of the greatest blessings of my life. 

From there I did everything I could to find myself again.  I didn't miss reading the scriptures each day.  In fact, my true and real testimony of the Book of Mormon will be from this time of my life.  Sure I'd read it before.  I would have said I had a testimony before.  But never before this time of anxiety did those words bring more peace to my mind.  In fact, during some of those tough conversations I feel strongly that if I hadn't been reading each day the outcomes would have been different. I started meditating.  The only true cure I have found for worry, stress or better yet overall health.  I walked a lot.  I am still not where I'd like to be health wise permanently, but everyday despite the temperature, we'd bundle up and walk through the cemetery.  I was creative for me, mostly writing as much or as little as I wanted.  It felt good. But most of all the thing that I think made me the most content is that I got more time with the people I love. The majority of Chris and I's arguments used to be based around me feeling the pressure of work and home and the truth is when I'm home it's just more simple for both of us.  I'm not on his case about helping out as much because I'm home.  Oh and the boys, I will forever be grateful for this year full of their funny stuff.  Sure, there were hard times.  I wore wear sweatpants too much.  I watch too much TV sometimes and I get mad at the boys, but 2017 was content.